Poems and Politics: Anglomaniacs Anthem

I haven't posted a Poems and Politics post for some weeks. How remiss of me, I apologise.

During the last few weeks we have been told that a crisis caused by Unionists is proof that Wales and Scotland can't survive as independent nations.

Apparently we can't survive because Billions of pounds have been poured into the City of London, to save the City - money taken out of Wales and other parts of the UK to shore up the City.

The truth is that Wales will suffer, and suffer disproportionately, in order to save London.

In order to justify our suffering for the grater good, we will be offered crumbs, again, from London and be expected to show gratitude!

We will be asked by Labour, Tory and Lib Dem MPs to see such crumbs of gratitude as Manna from London's heaven, part of the Union Dividend

Oh, we're looking up England's arsehole,
It's the prettiest view we know,
It's the height of our ambition,
It's where we want to go,
It's the finest sight in the universe
Though you seek both high and low,
So we're looking up England's arsehole
Waiting for the breeze to blow.

They tell us Wales is a nation
But we don't believe that story,
Though she's going bust we put our trust
In the Land of Hope and Glory,
So we're looking up England's arsehole,
There was never a view so fine,
Yes, we're looking up England's arsehole
Waiting for the sun to shine.

Here we crouch in our proper stations,
Obedient to her orders,
Though she's in the shite she'll see us right
If we earn our keep as warders,
So we're looking up England's arsehole,
It's the loveliest scene of all,
Yes, we're looking up England's arsehole,
Waiting for the manna to fall.
Harri Webb


  1. Ole Phat Stu22/10/2008, 05:46

    I thought that link was going to be to Cliff Richard ;-)

  2. One of my favourite poets. he came to my school in Merthyr along with John Williams and we were drummed in to the big hall to listen to them. What an experience that made me a fan of both

  3. What's occuring like, up there,
    In the the bowels of England's arsehole fair.
    Did you climb past the haemorrhoids in a bunch,
    To devour the remains of England's lunch?
    Or are you just up there for the view?
    That can be dangerous, I'm telling you.
    Quick! Duck and hide, before you get one.
    Phew! You were lucky there, it was only a wet one.

    You're playing a dangerous game as a nation.
    Just accept your part of the UK conflation.
    And don't worry 'bout England going bust.
    You know they'll always throw you a crust.
    So, on your way home, back down the arse,
    If you see a big brown one, just let it pass.
    And please don't worry about the Hope and Glory.
    At this time it's more like Dope and Gory.

    So rest ye well, beyond Welsh borders,
    Subservient to England's orders.
    Resume your positions as a nation of crouchers,
    As we drip down largesse in the form of vouchers,
    Unfortunately, the price of Manna,
    Has now gone up to three and a tanner.
    So keep your eye on England's bum,
    And gratefully accept whatever may come.

  4. Ole Phat Stu, If Sir Cliff put this poem to music, I'm sure that it would have won the Eurovision Song Contest!

    I don't know what James' "sigh" and Cherry's "Hmmmm" signify.

    When I post poems that are relevant to a political situation I don't, of necessity, agree with the poet - I post them because I think that they are relevant to the debate.

    On this occasion, however, I do agree with Harri Webb.

    Valleys Mam notes that Harri is an important Welsh poet, no humming or sighing can detract from that truth.

    If the Hum and sigh are made because this poem is perceived as "anti English" they are wasted. The butt of this poem is Welsh people who see Welsh politics as dependent on English largess, it is not anti-English. If it is anti anything it is anti-Welsh! Anti a certain type of Welsh person who has no respect for his / her own country!

    Jolly Roger, your parody has completely missed the point of the poem, you are making the same point as Harri!

  5. I'm sorry that my additional verse,
    Is less than parodic or even converse.
    I merely emphasised Harri's stance.
    And added my words whilst I had the chance.
    I know it's a cheek to attempt to embellish,
    The words of a great poet that are read with some relish,
    But having read his words spectacular,
    I just added my choice of common vernacular.

    If I have sinned, please accept my snivelling apology,
    And put down my words as a simple tautology.
    Harri's poem in expectance of more English flatus,
    Is a clear reflection of some Welsh perceived status.
    But doesn't actually speak for us all,
    Except those who wish the UK's downfall.
    So my pathetic attempt to inject some humour,
    Falls flat on its face. Oh! What a bummer.

  6. My hmmm meant I was just pondering on the poem which I found quite powerful.

    Having thought about it, I don't see it as anti, but divisive. People should enjoy their own culture and also respect those of others, it is not a competition one versus the other. The variety allows for people to interact, discuss and learn.

  7. kairdiff (West) Kid26/10/2008, 22:35

    It's a very good poem about Welsh servility. It's well-crafted, funny and poignant, and explains why Webb was so well-known among those who don;t usually read poetry.
    It's not anti-English, it's anti those of us who have nowhere better to look than up England's backside.
    The old accusations that 'if you believe in Welsh self-rule you must be anti-English etc etc' has by now worn so thin that no-one serious or intelligent can believe it.
    terrific poem. More please.