Nimcy Jones MP

We are all aware of the acronym NIMBY which describes those who think that a development that benefits many should go elsewhere, as long as it's Not In My Back Yard. In Conwy County we have a mutation of the NIMBY, a NIMCY Not in My Church Yard. The leading Nimcy is none other than local MP David Jones, who is leading a protest at the proposed siting by Ericsson of a mobile phone mast on the highway immediately outside the ancient parish church of St Trillo.

Good communication links are essential to the development of businesses potential in Wales, be it physical communication links such as duelling the A470 (which most NIMBYS oppose) or modern communication methods such as internet and mobile phone connections. Many mobile phone users who travel up and down the Conwy Valley have to own two mobile phones, because you can't get a decent T Mobile signal in the south of the valley and you can't get a decent Orange signal in the north of the valley. A situation that people in the rest of the UK would find intolerable.

If we are to improve communications and get rid of mobile phone black spots we need to build more masts. There are some places where it might be inappropriate to build them, but I can't for the life of me see why the highway outside St Trillo's church should be one of them. Nimcy Jones MP claims that to erect this mast would be nothing short of sacrilege. As many a rural church survives from fees for mobile phone masts that are added to their spires, without claims of sacrilege against them, how on earth can a mast on the highway by a church be called sacrilege?

The MP notes that This is one of the finest churches in North Wales; its tower is unique, topped by a turret known as the Rector’s Chair, whose function was to hold a brazier which would be set alight if warning ships were spied, quite right too. St Trillo's is, without doubt, a fine church of historic significance, but a mobile phone mast on the highway beside it won't destroy any of the church's features and can't take anything away from its historic importance. So what's the problem?

The problem is that the protesters, in general, are people who have made their fortunes running successful businesses or working for successful businesses elsewhere; businesses that succeeded by using every new innovation that was available. But now that they have retired to their idealised vision of north Wales as a rural backswood they hate anything that might enable the local people to live successful modern lives in a modern Wales. People who think that industry and modernity shouldn't exist in their retirement haven.

Of course those who want to live modern lives in a modern Wales vote Plaid - the NIMBY incomers who want Wales to retire with them vote Tory, which is the only reason why David Jones MP is supporting protests against progress happening in his own constituency.

Why the royals don't buy toilet roll

David Jones MP is almost onanastic about the fact that some minor royal visited his constituency today. By his own admission it's the first time that any royal has been arsed to do so in almost 200 years

But despite being ignored by the royals for almost two hundred years Colwyn still has a Royal Hotel, a Princess Drive and a statue of the Princess of Whores in its shopping centre. Why?

If no so called Royal has been bothered to grace the town with a visit for 184 years, and the best that they can do after such a long disinterest is to send the 569th in line to the throne, shouldn't the local representative of the people be telling them where to stuff their Royal Disinterest, rather than kissing their backsides and fawning loyalty to those who, clearly, couldn't give a fiddler's f*** about his constituency or his constituents?